Bodiccea (Chapter 22)

Template:Bodiccea nav "... Anyway, you should have seen her," Heather laughed, paying no attention to the hot breakfast cooling down on the table in front of her. "She was bouncing around the room like a squirrel on crack."

"That sounds cool," Kasim chuckled. "OD'ing on charms..."

Paige: "Has she woken up yet?"

"No. Elzix said he knocked on her door twice, and she told him to go away."

Khaleel shrugged. "Ok, so we know she's not dead. I'm guessing it'll take her a while to get on her feet again."

"And you took care of Ancient Kaa already," Kasim nodded. "After him, the only challenge is Duriel, and he's a pansy for tank characters."

"I hope so," Heather nodded. "Ancient Kaa was dangerous, and according to Ms. B, he doesn't get much easier than the way we found him."

"Never met him myself," Khaleel said, "but it's a good thing when a named critter only has two minions. Still, you did pretty well. I was kind of worried."

"Thanks," Heather smiled. "Next time, I'll stay back with the skeletons."

Klatu nodded. "Good idea. We could more easily endure the demon's magic, were there not so many bugs enhancing its strength."

Kasim snorted. "You mean like the fire enchantment bug?"

Paige: "I heard that lightning enchanted was never supposed to work with multi-shot."

"Nope," Khaleel said. "But it did, and since MSLE was the only boss mod that inspired fear, Blizzard decided to keep it around."

"Yeah," Kasim said. "Man, why aren't any of the bugs in our favor?"

Paige: "Well, Amazons get the whole Buriza-Cleglaw's thing."

"Hey," Khaleel's face brightened. "Could a Rogue try that out?"

Paige: "Nope. Crossbow and gloves."

"Damn! I think Rogues should be allowed to use crossbows."

"They're awful slow," Heather frowned.

"The Buriza isn't. Hey, Act II guys can use spears OR polearms. Why couldn't Rogues use either bows or crossbows?"

Paige: "The Buriza is a pretty good reason all by itself."

"Nah. If the Buriza by itself was that bad, Blizzard would have nerfed it. They just needed to make it so guided arrow couldn't pierce. There's no reason a Rogue shouldn't be able to use a Buriza."

Paige: (thinks about it) "You know, it would be nice..."

"Sure," Khaleel continued, grinning. "A crossbow is about as different from a bow as a polearm is from a spear, right? If Desert Eagles can use a Reaper's Toll, then Rogues deserve to be able to use a Buriza."

As the two Rogues considered the inherent possibilities, Kasim leaned over and murmured to Khaleel, "Figured out that being all protective wouldn't work, huh?"

"Shaddup," Khaleel hissed. "Yeah, it's the 'sensitive supportive guy' bit. Don't blow this for me!"

Paige: "Yeah, I've heard awesome things about the Buriza. It would be cool to use one..."

"... but Blizzard won't let us," Heather finished the thought.

"Hey, I know that," Khaleel shrugged. "It's not like we can do anything about it, I'm just expressing my opinion, you know?"

Before anyone could respond, Atma leaned in to put a fresh pitcher in the middle of the table, and quietly said, "She's coming down the street."

Heather nodded to Atma as the others retreated to the kitchen. "Thanks."

"Consider it a house service."

As Bodiccea came in, Heather was hurriedly scooping cold, clotted oatmeal up into her mouth. "Hey, girl! I got rid of some of those charms, so I think I'll be ok."

"Glud," Heather garbled. "I mean, good. Are you ok? Didn't wake up with a headache or anything?"

"Nope! Caught up on my sleep, that's about it. Hey, why do you have a whole pitcher of beer? You shouldn't drink that much this early."

"Um... that's from last night."

"But it's still frothy."

"Oh." Heather stared at the pitcher, then had a thought. "Want some?"

"Uh..." Bodiccea blinked. "Sure, why not?" After wiping out an empty mug, she poured herself a pint. "We've got a long day ahead of us. I want to finish those damned tombs and get out of here. For a wild oceanfront trading port, Lut Gholein is damn boring. Maybe we'll have better luck in Act V."

"What's in Act V?"

"Barbarians. Big, brawny slabs of chunkilicious beefcake. With that many to choose from, there's gotta be ONE who knows what soap is. C'mon, Heather. Time's a-wasting."

Bodiccea's new amulet was a Maiden's Amulet of the Bat -- mana leech and +1 to skills. The "maiden" bit earned her a rueful smirk from Heather, which she ignored. The gloves weren't as nice. They were rares, with improved defenses (but lower than Sigon's gloves), a bonus to attack speed (also lower than Sigon's), a strength bonus (again, lower than Sigon's), but +1 to javelin and spear skills. After switching back and forth from one pair to the other several times, she finally decided to keep Sigon's. Skill bonuses are nice, but +1 just wasn't enough to justify what she'd be giving up.

The Canyon of the Magi was full again: Devourers and Spear Cats, again. Bodiccea wasn't interested in clearing it a second time, so she drove a straight line from the waypoint to the third tomb from the right, which was marked by a square. Even after ditching a few charms, she still moved fast enough that Heather got in exactly two shots the whole time. The only significant find was Cleglaw's Claw, a weird name for a shield.

The square tomb was a small one, full of Apparitions and Unravelers. After Fending her way through a crowd of skeletons and their Unraveler, and finding that her mana bulb didn't drop even though 4 out of 5 stabs hit skeletons, Bodiccea threw away her Snake's Grand Charm of Inertia. Mana was no longer an issue, and she needed the inventory room.

"Are you throwing away your other biggest charm too?" Heather asked.

With a smirk, Bodiccea looked down at her chest. "My biggest charms aren't exactly the kind I can throw away. But yeah, I'm keeping the other grand charm. It's got resistance to all, which I need since I don't have any on my armor."

"Will you be getting a different kind of armor?"

"I kind of hope so. 'Stealth' is really more for spell casters. 'Lionheart' would be great. 'Smoke' wouldn't be too bad. Heck, the Cow King's stuff would be good, except I refuse to wear the hat. Caps are so ugly."

"Um..." Heather slowly nodded. "I guess I kind of agree with you about caps. They are ugly. That circlet looks really nice on you, though."

"Hell, yeah! This circlet is sweet, I'm keeping it no matter what."

"Is it really that important? I mean, what if someone gave you... uh, what is it, the unique Shako cap thingy?"

"Harlequin Crest? Moot point, I KNOW our mules don't have it. I still wouldn't wear it. Not only is it a cap, it's a NEON GREEN cap. U. G. L. Y!"

"But it's supposed to be really nice."

Bodiccea sighed. "Heather... what's the worst thing that can happen if I go for style over efficiency?"

"You could die."

"And how bad is that? Remember, we're softcore."

"Um..." After thinking for a minute, Heather sheepishly said, "You'd have to pay to bring me back from the dead, and get your body back."

"That's right. Bringing you back caps out at 50,000 gold: chicken feed. The icy-cold hand of death is a temporary inconvenience at worst. Besides, the Harlequin Crest is for magic finding, and we're not doing that."

"Do you think we'll be doing much magic finding?"

"No. Cookie-cutter builds like Frozen Orb sorcies magic find. We're gonna struggle every inch of the way, and it'll be worth it when we b!tch-slap Baal that final time."

"Are you sure we'll make it that far?"

Bodiccea grinned. "Sure I'm sure. What's gonna stop us? Dying?"

Try as she might, Heather could not think of a good answer to that. Resigning herself to fate, she followed Bodiccea further into the tomb.

The next room was almost empty except for an Unraveler and his minion pack. His trick was the holy freeze aura -- Bodiccea's greatest nemesis. Swearing and grumbling, Bodiccea ran across the room in slow motion, hoping that even if she didn't reach them, that she at least looked like Pamela Anderson did on Baywatch, only taller and not quite as trashy. Heather plinked away behind her, so the Unraveler was more than half dead by the time Bodiccea got there and Jabbed him to death. The rest of the pack fell, either to Fend of Heather's arrows. Among the loot was a 30% magic find Nagelring. "Another one?" Bodiccea thought, then put it in her pack. Even if she didn't want it, someone might.

The tomb only had four rooms, the last of which was the treasure chamber. The golden chest of joy was guarded by a physical immune Apparition, her other greatest nemesis. She'd sold her fire spear when she got the "Honor" one. Fuming, Bodiccea stood there and let the ghost hit her while Heather killed it... then remembered she'd put a point in Charged Strike. At least this time she had a circlet on when she slapped herself in the forehead. There wasn't anything good in the chest either, so they moved on.

The tomb in the corner of the canyon was also small, and full of Apparitions, Unravelers, and Gorebellies. Also a lot of urns, so many that getting across rooms became difficult. A lot of low-level loot was scattered throughout the complex, and the golden chest was guarded by an Unraveler with the holy shock aura, but there was nothing noteworthy.

The next tomb in line was the true tomb, so they ran to the far left end of the canyon to work their way back to it. Two tombs went by in a blur of shooting, stabbing, and clouds of mummy dust. There were Ghoul Lords, Preserved Dead, Gorebellies, and always, always, Unravelers, and not one bit of treasure worth looking at. Heather reached level 27; besides that, the only thing worth mentioning was when they found an experience shrine right inside the entrance. Bodiccea hit it and ran. The next two rooms were completely and utterly empty -- there was an Unraveler in a hallway, but that's it. Then, just as they found the treasure room, where two boss packs were waiting, the shrine bonus expired. Figures...

The last, true tomb was a big one, with Gorebellies, Ghoul Lords, and Unravelers. Bodiccea experimented a bit with Decoy. It didn't set off traps, and the undead were only sometimes fooled by it, but Gorebellies went straight for it. Several times, Gorebellies ambushed Heather while she was running to catch up. There were only two special packs: a champion pack of Steel Scarabs (Bodiccea had enough leech, but Heather almost died) and an extra fast Gorebelly who had urgent business with the Decoy. Heather wouldn't stop giggling until Bodiccea threatened to stop giving her potions. The Gorebelly dropped a rare Druid pelt. Why anyone would go around with a dead animal on their head, Bodiccea did not know... especially one that makes you look like a giant chicken.

When the tomb was clear, they went back to get the Horadric Staff and took it to the socket chamber. "Man, this was annoying," Bodiccea said, pulling her gauntlet up to look at her watch. "Five mini-dungeons in one day."

"How are we going to beat Duriel?"

"The usual way: I get in his face where it's safe, and use my fastest attack. You stay back and shoot. Lather, rinse, repeat until dead. I'm just wondering if I should use Jab, or try a Decoy and Fend. I get an extra Fend attack if my Decoy is in range, and maybe he'll have gotten so lonely in that pit that he'll go for the Decoy."

"Maybe," Heather tried to keep from laughing. "Which is faster?"

"Jab, but it hurts less. Ah, heck. It takes a while for Duriel to die, I can try both."

And she did. After casting the Decoy near Duriel, Bodiccea slowly scampered up next to him. Nobody ever wants to be close to Duriel, he smells disgusting, but it beat having him slam his fat self into her over and over. The first Decoy didn't last long, and he ignored the second, but by then Bodiccea was Jabbing without a care. Even with an extra stab, Fend was just too slow. The bug died on schedule, dropped a few useless items, and they were free to explore Tal Rasha's chamber.

Tyrael was floating over the pit where he should be. "Greetings, mortal."

"Hiya, immortal! How's it hanging? About 6 inches off the floor, I see. Very impressive."

The angel gave his usual speech, imploring them to take their quest to Kurast, with all possible haste and urgency. Bodiccea and Heather listened patiently. "What do we have to hurry for?" Heather whispered. "We know what's going to happen."

"Don't tell him, it would break his little heart," Bodiccea answered. "Ok, Tyrael, will do. You run along now. See you in Hell!"

Back in Lut Gholein, they went down to the docks. Bodiccea hadn't bothered to meet Meshif, but the instant she saw him, she smiled. "Hmm... I like. Tall, broad shoulders. The pirate thing works too. Like Johnny Depp, but buff." With a grin, she sauntered down to the water's edge and struck a pose. "Hello, sailor."

Concluding thoughts:

1. Fend would be a great attack skill if it wasn't buggy. Being a bit paranoid, I suspect this is deliberate. I believe Blizzard wants the Amazon to be a ranged attacker, and they do have this habit of leaving bugs in skills they don't want people using.
2. Characters with a lot of extra movement speed look ridiculous walking around. They just slide over the ground with their legs quivering in the air.
3. The next time I play a bow-user, I will NOT forget how great 6 perfect gems in a bow is. In fact, I'll keep Heather's bow. Maybe make a character called 'Heather' and get her name on it. Six gems in a crystal sword would benefit a melee character too.
4. I wonder if Jab gets any synergies in 1.10? If it did, that would be awesome.