Hardly-Able, The nekkid throw barb

Prelude

In honor of my recent transition through the curtain, and in honor of the uber leet cracked sash, I have created (well one was created before membership, but who's counting :P) two new softcore restricted characters. Their journey through Sanctuary will the subject of future posts (or tales hosted on my site).

For starters, let me describe the builds

Hardly_Able, wearer of the ABM cracked sash:

Double-Throw Nekkid Barbarian

Restrictions: No twinking, other than the vaunted ABM cracked sash Nekkid--No visible gear EVER. Non-visible gear limited to cracked sash, and cracked/crude, etc gloves and boots. No jewelry. (the non-visible gear limitations will last at least through normal--I will attempt to keep to this throughout the game). Charms are limited to what I find on the way.

Ms. Grimreaper

No-vit, Polearm-wielding Sorcy

Restrictions: No twinking, other than fast hit recovery charms. Spells limited to pre-reqs for enchant only, cold armors, and masteries (exceptions--static limited to slvl5, teleport, eshield, and telekinesis unlimited). Primary weapon must be a polearm, but she can use +skill staves and ranged weapons on the switch. No limitations on gear, other than she may NEVER even think of equipping a shield (shields are for wimps :P).

These two are intended to clear the game--nothing may be skipped. As of today, they are both in A2 normal (tales will follow). They may party, but will likely not play with any unrestricted chars--to date, I think I've only quested with one unrestricted char.

The tales of these two will be intertwined...at least as best as my feeble writing skills can manage. Who knows--the future may hold more tales after their journey is complete. :notme:

Normal

Brief update:

Hardly_Able is starting A4 normal, having walked his way through A2 and A3 with two deaths. A2 death was to the death nova of a cold-enchanted lightning bug in one of the false tombs, and the A3 death was to the inferno of a flayer shamen (this was should have been avoided). I probably could have avoided both deaths if I had distributed any points to vit (not a restriction on this guy...I am just doing it now to up the gain).

MsGrimReaper a quest or two into A3. As to her deaths, well there have been about 5 or 6 in the last act. I really need to play her alone for a while--for some reason she lives longer when not playing with others. :blush:

I have cropped most of the shots from their journey so far--I hope to have some more storyline and shots up by Christmas. My writing muse seems to have abandoned me for the time being.

Nightmare Experiences

Well, let's just say my muse has deserted me. I have loads of screenshots, but haven't yet put them up on my site.

Hardly_Able, the nekkid throwing barb, made it to the outer cloister waypoint in nightmare yesterday. His journey through A4 and A5 normal was mostly uneventful.

The journey in nightmare has been a bit more tedious. His luck with throwing weapons has been limited to one rare war javelin and one imbued war javelin. Those are the boss, or tough pack killing weapons, while the normal pair is a balanced knife and balanced axe. His travelling companion, a prayer merc, was lucky to get a rare ethereal pike drop.

As an example of his difficulty, it took me about three hours to get from the cold plains wp to the outer cloister. No deaths since A3 normal. Being a stubborn cuss, I have yet to add any points to vitality. That will likely change soon, as Hardly goes into hit recovery from a strong wind. His one relation to no-twink (other than his uber cracked sash) is a personal mule, which is used to store his crafting supplies (I plan to craft blood throwing axes for him when I get my hands on some exceptional magic ones).

One last note, Normal Baal dropped some completely useless items for Hardly--a Dwarf Star and a Kuko.

Nightmarish Experiences

Time for another update.

Hardly_Able finished (except for that traitorous Nihlathak) his nightmare quests last evening. His entire journey through nightmare was either solo, or partied with ShadowHM's no-skills daggerzon, InspiredHope (one exception, I think I was partied for Andy with another variant scum).

I'd love to say I proceeded with no deaths, but that was not the case. If I remember correctly, there were two deaths in A1, one in A2, two (one when body recovering) in A3, none in A4 and one in A5. I was not exactly keeping track, though. Body was recovered each time. Act 1 stared out tough, until I crafted a blood hurbat (exceptional axe). Another was crafted in A3 or A4. I hired a might merc in A2, to further improve damage.

The entire journey was extremely slow, even when Shadow and I partied. Grimward and taunt were used extensively, with Hardly puting up grimwards to establish safe retreat zones. Another nice merc weapon was found--this time a rare lance that got a perfect skull for [i]some[/i] leech. All and all, Haseen faired pretty well until A5, and even then the only time he'd take a quick dirt nap was when encountering large groups of archers, witches, and/or frenzytaurs.

And now on to the tale of the last part of Hardly_Able's journey through nightmare.

Before the finale last evening, Hardly had already travelled with InspiredHope to best the ancients and make his way to the waypoint on the second level of the Worldstone Keep. Being a stubborn sort, Hardly was unable to proceed to Baal without besting the Ancients again, solo. He knew this task would be difficult, since he had nearly run out of weapons the last time, after carrying two extra sets of war javelins. Luckily, his frequent trips to Malah's shop resulted in the purchase of several sets of cruel throwing spears, and a decent hurlbat of butchery. Hardly stepped off the waypoint in the Ancients' Way, knowing a long fight was ahead.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-ancientsway.jpg

Dark lancers, spike fiends, and tainted greeted Hardly. Not a bad draw, though the spike fiends can be difficult to spot, and the lancers move like they've each consumed three bottles of no-Doz. Thankfully, most of the bosses were not cold enchanted (the bane of Hardly). After a mostly uneventful journey, Hardly arrived at the summit, carrying a full pack and cube of throwing spears, axes, javelins, and fat purple pots.

Ah, I wish I had a shot or two of the battle. It raged all over the summit, with the ancient concentrating mostly on Hasaad. Korlic dropped first, leaving Madawc and Talic. Haseen was fed a steady diet of purple pots, as he tanked away. Madawc dropped next (that's right--who's the best thrower NOW?!), leaving Hardly with a aura enchanted (conviction), cold enchated Talic (yum). His regular whirlwinds made for some serious happy feet--and lots leaping (leap attack) to avoid the cold enchanted whirlwind. Haseen was having a hard time targeting Talic, as was Hardly. Things were starting to look a bit bleak, since Hardly ran out of pots, Haseen was down to less than 1/3 life, and spears were down to less than 20 per hand.

Hardly and Haseen decided a bit of mountain running was in order...mainly to help Haseen regain some health. After a few laps around the summit, Haseen and Hardly settled in, locked in on Talic, and poked/threw away. Hardly launched the last of his spears into Talic, but he still lived, with between an eighth and a quarter of his life left. Haseen proved his mettle once again, finishing off Talic with yet another poke from his battered lance. I think these shots tell the tale very well.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-ancients.jpg

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-noweapons.jpg

Yep. No pots, no usable weapons. Many rounds were bought for Haseen that evening. :P

Since Hardly had already cleared WSK1 and 2 in a previous game, he started on to Baal from the WSK2 waypoint. The first monster type spotted were poison throwing bone mages--no worry except for a need to run to town if Hardly gets hit--let's just say poison resistance is not exactly high. Next Hardly spots some lightning bugs, again, not too much of a problem, as long as you know how to find the sweet spot inbetween all the sparks. But of course, all is not well, as Hardly soon has packs of black souls firing lightning from all angles. Actually, the souls were not too much trouble, as taunt brings them close, where they are less likely to shoot gobs of lightning. Finally, Hardly spots the stairs, and heads to the next level of the keep. Around this time, Hardly found a fourth set of cruel throwing spears, so the pair crafted blood hurlbats were stashed for another pair of cruel throwing spears. Those would be his weapons for the rest of the evening.

On the third level of the keep, Hardly was greeted by teleporting, fire-shooting rascals/tricksters, which are more annoying than dangerous. However, he soon spotted scores of dumb knights, which meant that their ever dangerous handlers, the oblivion knights, would be right behind. The remainder of the level was spent herding the dumb knights away from their oblivion bosses, or teleporting back to town to wipe the IM curse off Haseen, or trying to quickly dispatch the OKs before they could lay down curses. The worst stretch I can remember was two OK boss packs with another pack of two OKs and their dumb cronies. Lots of happy feet, a few trips to town, and one dirt nap by Haseen, and the level cleared.

Hardly_Able stepped down to the Baal's Throne of Destuction. Slightly down the corridor from the first turn, he's greeted with a cold-enchanted boss pack of Frenzytaurs (Death Lords). Within a few seconds, Haseen takes a dirt nap and Hardly is on the run. It took a few minutes to string out the pack enought so that Hasaad could tank the remainder (including the boss) while Hardly launched spear after spear into the mob. After a minute or two, the mob was gone, and the entrance to the level secured. The rest of the Thone was no picnic: more Death Lords, vampires (Night Lords), and more dumb knights and their cursing oblivion knight handlers. The most notable of the remaining struggle to clear the Throne was in the southwest corner, which was populated with champion oblivion knights, a pack of frenzytaurs, and a vampire boss pack.

Finally, Hardly entered Baal's throne room, dispatched the few remaining vampires and knights, and prepared Haseen and himself for the onslought of the minions. Colenzo fell quickly, but Achmel's bunch presented some tricky positioning problems. Hardly had to find a way to lob spears at Achmel and his minions, while avoiding the slowing ice bolts of the mages. He was able to take out all but two before the mages put the freeze on, which was enought to gain the battlefield and win the day.

The remaining minions did not fall as easily. Bartuc, rang up aura enchanted (conviction), which resulted in Haseen taking his dirt nap five seconds after the spawn. Hardly let him rest for a bit, while taunting Bartuc's minions out of the throne room for their acupuncture treatments. Only after Bartuc lay dead did Hardly return to Harrogath to retreive his longtime companion. Ventar and his pack forced Hardly and Haseen out of the throne, but a few tactical maneuvers (aka running away) thinned the pack and allowed Hardly to control the battle. Finally, it was time for Lister, who run up lightning enchanted. Although a difficult fight, for once Lister's minions managed to string out enough to allow Hardly and Haseen to concentrate on one or two at a time. In normal, Hardly couldn't break up the pack, and the fight took considerably longer. That's not to say that Hardly wasn't pushed bact to the stairs, just that it only happened once :P.

On to Baal. Hardly leveled to 65 as Lister crumbled, so here are Hardly_Able's particulars entering the fight with Baal:

First, his best weapon, and stats shown before BO and his Haseen's might aura.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-stats1.jpg

Next, his actual in-battle stats, boosted by battle command, battle orders, and Haseen's might aura (actually took the shot after Baal, but none of the stats changed).

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-stats2.jpg

Hardly is wearing broken eth gloves and boots, a cracked circlet (haven't got a broken eth one yet, no armor, and is wielding cruel throwing spears. He's mostly stuffed with charms (which are allowed) to boost resistances and life. As you can see, he has added NO points to vitality, and sits just under 500 life with the spears (blood axes have life boost, so he WAS at about 600 life before switching to the spears exclusively).

And the battle rages on...

Baal was NOT cooperative. He kept tossing cold wedges and cloning--two things that Hardly could not handle. With no "half-freeze duration", or "cannot be frozen" gear, every cold wedge resulted in a ten or more second slowdown of his throwing. Hardly found a few sweet spots in the chamber, and one or two times actually had the opportunity to unload all of one pair of weapons into Baal. Most times, however, Baal moved, cloned, or sent a cold wedge that resulted in heavy pot consumption, or a leap out of harms way, with a regroup in Harrogath. After about 45 minutes of whittling away, Hardly could sense that Baal was about spent.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-baal.jpg

Baal ended up retreating a bit to the southeast, where one last spear caught him, and felled the mighty prime evil.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-baaldeath1.jpg

Like the reward in normal, Baal was kind enough to drop some nice gear--none of which was useful for Hardly.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-baalreward.jpg

Hardly made a few trips to town to sell most of the loot, accepted the congratulations of the denizens of Harrogath, and headed out with a new title.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-nm-champion.jpg

Hardly will be training a bit more, but he will soon see you all in Hell

(to be continued)

Hardly_ABle's Journey Through Hell, Part 1

I wish I could regale you with a stirring tale of battle, and pictures that would show the glory of each passing moment. Alas, I am but a simple narrator, so I will dispense with the introduction and lead you straight into the battle:

Hardly_Able did not have a pleasant journey through A1. Not at all. He entered hell after training a bit in nightmare, reaching level 70 before begininng his quests in earnest. He was able to work his way through the den and the cold plains, but upon reaching Blood Raven, he hit a big Brick Wall. He and Haseen could not keep up with Blood Raven's ability to raise new minions, and so they had to abandon the battle. Certainly foreshadowing of things to come.

The Stony Field and Underground Passage were extremely noteworthy. Not to say that all was easy, but Hardly was able to taunt and toss his way through the denizens. When he stepped into the Dark Woods, however, things were about to change. I wish I had taken shots of the the five boss packs that were packed into the Western half of the map. All of them were either quill rat cousins, or skeleton archers. One of them was physical immune, so let me digress a bit on Hardly handles physical immunes.

The PI problem is solved pretty much the same way Hardly solves all his problems...shop something good from Malah. Hardly bought a pair of arcing weapons in A5 nm, so when PIs show up, Hardly ports back to town, grabs his arcing weapons, and heads back into the fray.

The other tactical thing about Hardly is the use of his most important skill--Taunt. This is without doubt the skill without which Hardly would have stopped halfway through nightmare. Below you can see how the lay of the land and taunt can make a mean bosspack of skeleton archers manageable.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-darkwoodboss.jpg

That's right, taunt out all the minions, slay them one at a time, then off the boss. Rinse and repeat. After about 20 minutes to taunt his way though the western end of the Dark Wood, Hardly meets up with Treehead Woodfist, which was actually not much of a battle. The pack did not all rush at Haseen and Hardly, so they were dispatched in twos and threes. Cain's rescue was not very difficult, and now Hardly could again listen to the old coot's stories.

Hardly ended his journey for the moment, knowing that for some reason the denizens of the Dark Wood would return in new forms when he returned via the waypoint. No matter--the rescue of Cain called for some ale and rest.

When Hardly returned to the Dark Wood--he found that this time the Eastern section was rife with bosses. No less than five boss packs were roaming the Eastern Dark Wood, and this time many were enchanted with holy freeze. As an aside, let me say again cold is Hardly's worst nightmare. Anything that slows the missiles means that Hardly is in trouble. Here's one of the bosses that Hardly faced.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-darkwoodboss2.jpg

Extra fast corrupted rogues means that Hardly has to get Haseen to lock onto the pack, or run away...if one of those lovely gals stops to give Hardly a smooch, well, let's just say he falls easily :P. Yet another of the quill rat bosses ends the parade for the evening in the Dark Wood.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-darkwoodboss3.jpg

Yeah, positioning in the sweet spot (and good tanking by Haseen) is needed to avoid those nasty double enchanted sparks. Hardly also took care to stay out of range of the aura, so he could chuck at will.

Now on to the Black Marsh, and most importantly, the Forgotten Tower, home of physically immue ghosts, and highly phyically resistant Goatmen, as well as archers galore. Hardly was fortunate to travel with a regular companion, InspiredHope (no skills daggerzon). Neither of the two companions managed to take any pictures of the trip, but they both managed to make their way through a two boss (goatman and archer) stair trap on level 3 (not without deaths). Hardly finally leaped over the bosses, ran like the wind, and made it safely to level 4. From there, InspiredHope and Hardly battled their way back to clear their bodies on the third level. After such a tough trip, the countess fell with a whimper, coughing up only a measly little eld (where's that sol??).

The rest of the Marsh and Tamoe Highlands were manageable, with no great battles to note. Hardly finished up that journey with InspiredHope, and the two companions headed on their way.

Next up, the Barracks and the Jail. Hardly started this journey again with InspiredHope at his side. The two companions managed their way though throngs of devilkins and their shamen. Taunt was again their friend, though at times, some advancing to the rear was needed. The Smith fell without a fuss--more troubling was the Shamen boss located on the opposite side of the Smith's Forge. Hardly bid InspiredHope au revoir at the Jail waypoint, and returned again to the rogue's camp for some needed rest. The biggest thrill of the evening was a white flying axe that dropped in the jail. Hardly asked Charsi to imbue this nice axe, and the result was not too shabby.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flyingaxe.jpg

Not an everyday weapon, mind you (Hardly's cruel throwing spears were higher damage), but a good change of pace, and the pmh could come in handy for an act boss.

Hardly returned to the jail, and though the going was tough, he managed to make it to the third level unscathed, even after facing off with Pitspawn Fouldog, who managed to take out Haseen a couple of times before sucumbing to multiple spearings. When Hardly got to the third level of the jail, things got bad in a hurry.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-jailpi.jpg

Though I've cut it off in the shot, that's an extra fast, magic resistant, stone skin (PI/FI) goat boss, whose minions slaughtered Haseen and Hardly within a few short seconds. Hardly grabbed the arcing weapons, re-engaged, and the pack still managed to chase him back to the stairs from the initial ambush. Nasty group. After that fiasco, Hardly made his way to the Inner Cloister, where he again met up with InspiredHope, and began the descent into the Catacombs through the Cathedral. Hardly and InspiredHope managed to make their way down though the catacombs to face Andarial...before a lousy connection forced Hardly to abandon the fight. [Note: I dropped at least a dozen times as we went down to Andy]. Finally, I couldn't get the connection back, until Shadow had left the game--after we spawned Andarial. Needless to say, I was frustrated.]

Andarial Part II

After Hardly readjusted himself to remain in Sanctuary [i.e., make sure modem is working well :P], he began again his decent to meet the demon queen Andariel. Haseen was trying his best to tank the various denizens of the catacombs, but he continued to die in his master's service. Returning him from the void was beginning to take a toll on Hardly's purse, and when the pair finally reached the final level of the catacombs...Hardly had less than 50,000 gold to his name. The two discussed tactics for the antechamber, and Andariel's lair. The antechamber would be cleared with the normal shamen taunting. After opening the door to the lair, the pair would head right, dispatch the shamen and his minions quickly, then clear out the front of the lair, hopefully killing the second shamen and his pack before the demon queen emerged.

Thankfully, the tactics worked, and all the area in the antechamber and front of the lair were cleared before the demon queen emerged. Unfortunately, that's the end of the good news for this evening. Haseen fell quickly to Andariel's poison attack, and Hardly fought on...circling the lava pit in the antechamber and tossing spears at Andariel. Unfortunately, his skill was not up to the task, as the Demon Queen pounced and felled him with but a single blow. Tonight was not to be Hardly's.

Hardly woke up face down in the rogue's camp...with but 7500 gold to his name. Somehow his belongings were placed near him, so he re-equiped his spears, and ventured to find his mule [Note: Hardly is allowed the services of a single mule--one of two exceptions to no-twink (his cracked sash is the other exception :P)] Between the two of them, they managed to scare up enough money to heal Haseen (he was ~mostly~ dead).

Haseen and Hardly looked at each other, knowing this night would be their third and perhaps final attempt to slay the Demon Queen Andariel. They stepped off the waypoint in the Catacombs, and began their journey. Not far from the waypoint, they had their first difficult fight.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/Ha-hell-cats2boss.jpg

It took Hardly about 15 minutes to dispatch this spider and its pack, and that was just the beginning. Hardly faced two cold enchanted, lightning enchated shamen bosses in a row...at one point, he was down to 7500 gold, with Haseed lying mostly dead. Luckily, Hardly had been holding onto a wand with lifetap charges, which when sold gave him enough gold to pay off Miracle Max once more, and restore Haseen to his side. That was the low point of the journey, but Hardly and Hassen managed to dispatch that last Shaman boss, nd made their way to the final showdown with Andariel. Along the way, Haseen suggested that Hardly hold onto valuable items for future sale--thus avoiding losing any money when waking up in town face down. Smart Desert Man, that Haseen.

The two exhausted companions knew without speaking what had to be done in the antechamber and the entrance to Andariel's lair...and they executed their plan perfectly. Andariel emerged. Hardly managed to keep Haseen alive for a few encounters...travelling back to town to feel Akara's healing touch. He soon realized that trying to keep Haseen in the fight was not hurting Andariel. Sadly, his desire to have his old friend with him in the moment of glory would ensure that the moment would never happen.

Hardly knew this fight would be one-on-one. He returned to town, grabbed his trusty imbued axes from Charsi, and set out to battle the Demon Queen. The battle raged through the antechamber, the lair, and sometimes even the chamber holding the stairs. Hardly was constantly on the run...keeping a few steps ahead of Andarial, so that he could turn and launch his axes and spears at the Demon Queen. Finally, he settled on a tactic of running clockwise around the lavapit in the antechamber, taking a semi-rectangular route, so that Andariel would be coming at him in a straight line at times, to simplify aiming his weapons. Over the course of the next forty minutes, Hardly kept this up..taking trips to town to replenish weapons or potions, but always returning to a hail of poision. After a few shots of her poison, the Demon Queen would resume her stalking (Hardly will never forget the sound of her foot (hoof) steps, for the rest of his days.

Slowly, Hardly could see that his tactics, and his axes and spears, were taking their toll on Andariel. He pressed the attack, trying to launch two waves of missiles her way each attack. This was not without cost, as Hardly was exposing himself more to her melee attack...and Temping Fate (tm) more than a few times. At last...Hardly threw one last spear at the hellspawn....

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-andydemise.jpg

Upon his return to the Rogues Camp, even Gheed was getting into the spirit.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-party999.jpg

A few (dozen) ales later, and Hardly_Able is ready for the next part of his journey. Time to take Haseen home to the Desert, and to Lut Gholein.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-caravan.jpg

Hardly_Able's Journey Through Hell Part 2A

Ah, now to the fun of undead-raising mummies, slinging cats, cats on no-doze, and @#$@#% undead archers. Also known as Act 2 Hell.

Hardly_Able started A2 at level 73, with a couple of full rejuvs left in his pack, and a high-gold-value trinket or two left to pay Miracle Max off if Haseen chose to nap in the dirt.

Darn that Atma, but she got one look at Hardly's bare chest and practically tackled him. "Whoa lady, you're not my type!"

"No, no!" she said, "I need your help!"

And so on and so on...damsel in distress, husband murdered...same story everywhere Hardly goes. Like these folks have nothing better to do than to waylay strangers into hopeless quests...[ahem!] Right, back to it.

So Hardly stops by Gheed's, pays off Miracle Max (again), and he and Haseen drop through the trap door into the sewers. All seems well for a time, then all hell breaks loose. A group of extra fast, something something sand raiders cream Haseen in 3.2 seconds flat, and Hardly is on the run. Well, these boys were not slowing down for anything, and Hardly could not manage to single any one of them out by his knees-bent-running-about retreating behavior.

Plan B--take the backdoor. Sneak up on the nasties, they won't know what hit em. Well, this plan is almost immediately foiled by a cursed, extra strong, something (sorry no pics, too busy [s]running[/s] dieing) sand raider. WHAM! Wake up in town, face down. Now, after the fight with Andy, there were not too many trinkets left to sell to continue to pay off Miracle Max. In fact, Hardly was again down to less one res left, so off he went to find Max at Gheed's place, and Haseen was revived again (how many times can he be "mostly dead?).

In through the back door, and thankfully, it was only a near death experience for Hardly. Not so for Haseen--mostly dead again. Uh-oh. Two entrances pretty much trapped, and no pseudo-meat shield to provide nice stationary targets for Hardly's spears. No reason to quit now, so Hardly trots off to the trapdoor, and enters. Nothing. Ok, he takes a few short steps, and only one hyped-up on goofballs, extra fast sand raider comes. Time for the old run n' chuck. A few loops later, and we have some space. Hardly moves on, and manages to take out the pack and the boss, getting a nice 'spensive armor to drop in the process to bring Haseen back into the game.

After this, the remainder of Sewers 1 was not too bad--lots of archers, but taunt does a number on those clowns. Level 2 was also pretty quiet, with only about 4 bosses, one burning archer pack, more archers, but no killer packs. Worst of 'em was a stone skin, magic resistant, spectral hit burning archer boss, but with his minions taunted away, he was not much of a challenge. Now, do not get me wrong...it took Hardly at least 30 minutes or more to clear level 2, but nothing nearly as hairy as the two entrance trap.

Now to level three, and a showdown with Hardly's first Greater Mummy encounter in Hell. Well, let's just say that the trip to Radament was not without a few bumps--try six of them. I'll call them the dirty half-dozen. Take a look at this crowd. First, there is Mr. Shy Burning Dead Boss (aka Hardly flubbed the shot).

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers1.jpg

Then there is Wind Drool, burning dead mage (fire). His fire HURT, and as usual, extra fast is extra pain in the butt.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers2.jpg

That brings us to Devil Hack, the first of the embalmed bosses.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers3.jpg

Cursed and extra fast? Mummies also hit hard, and spew poison. Hardly had to port out of their to save Haseen a few times. He could not afford to let Haseen get surrounded by these guys, so taunt and separate. Next up, another embalmed boss, this time with lightning and fire enchantment. At least the pack was slow, so taunting was not too difficult. As with all LEs, positioning is critical, especially when they carry additional elemental enchantments.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers4.jpg

Now for another burning dead mage (fire), this time holy freeze and lightning enchanted. Cold...Yay?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers5.jpg

That's right, Hardly kept his distance. No use turning blue (Hardly is not fond of blue. Last member of the dirty (half) dozen, and this one's no picnic, either. Now, Huntresses are ALREADY fast...add extra fast, cursed, and fire enchanted into the mix, and this is a full blown retreat. Not to mention, these kittens like to chase...after some silly running about, porting to town, and other cowardly behavior tactics, Hardly and Haseen were left with just the mama cat.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sewers6.jpg

After this, it's taunt all the living dead away from ol' stinky breath...and then for the old toe-to-toe (well for Haseen at least). Haseen required a few pots, trips to town, and a few Miracle Max Extra Large Chocolate Coated (the chocolate coating makes it go down easier), Revive-from-the-mostly-Dead Pills (tm) (aka MMELCCRftmD Pills). Anti-Climactic, Mr. Rad-a (needs a) Meint was. Another skill point, spent in double-throw.

Before we continue the tale, let's talk skills a bit. Hardly has maxed out Battle Orders, Double Throw, and Throwing Mastery. Given his choice of garb (aka nothing) and source of gear (aka scrounging and shopping), Hardly has little options for attack rating other than dex and charms. Only one Steel grand charm dropped, so Hardly has been pumping Double Throw (despite normal thrower conventional wisdom). Hardly is not a very Able thrower, so he needs the extra skill points for his attack.

Back to the tale, and to Hardly's imitiation of a lobster. After all, the desert sun can be murder on exposed skin. If the sun were Hardly's only problem, life would be good. Alas, but that was not the case. The Rocky Waste was filled with Sabre Cats and leapers (ugh), and of course, lots of cold enchanted leapers and extra fast cats. Hardly was so pressed that he took exactly one shot of a boss in the Rocky Waste, and this one was only a MSLEB.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-rockywaste.jpg

One death in Rocky Waste to an cold enchanted teleporting leaper. Haseen took several dirt naps, mainly from extra fast cats. One pack chased Hardly from the middle of the Waste all the way back to town. Here, kitty kitty?

So, on to the Dry Hills, and more of the Tough-to-Spot-Boss-Mods-Desert (TtSBMD). More Sabre Cats and Cave Leapers. No huge problems, and the waypoint was right at the entrance to the hills. Only tough boss was a stone skin, fire enchanted, extra fast leaper, but even he was more of pest than a threat.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dryhills3.jpg

Now to the Far Oasis, more TsSBMD, and a fight that Hardly's been dreading. The waypoint was again located close to the Oasis entrance, and without too much fanfare, Hardly was headed down into the Maggot Lair. Now, the lair is a not-too-friendly place for many characters, especially those with no area-of-effect attack, who rely VERY heavily on the monsters swarming their travelling companion so they can plink/throw away in relative safety. Also, Haseen, as a desert warrior, has a tendency to wander off, and not engage monsters without Hardly sticking his uncovered neck out well beyond a safe location. That said, the lair was not looking too bad at first.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lair1.jpg

Easy mods, no problem. :blink: Ok, well, maybe a little problem. At least there was some running about room in that chamber. Now can you see a theme developing with the bosses?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lair2.jpg

At least bugs are SLOW. SLOW is good. Hardly likes slow. Slow means that Hardly has time to call Mr. Yuck.

Hardly_Able: Um, Hi. My travelling companion has this awful green tinge to his skin. Mr. Yuk: Sir, this is the seventh time you've called this line. For goodness sakes, can't you remember how to read a scroll, step through a portal, and carry your sorry butt over to Atma's or Fara's? Hardly_Able: Oh yeah, now I remember....:blush:

Then there was the phyically immune, lightning immune scarab boss on level two. That was Park City all the way, since Hardly's attack against phsical immunes consists of arcing weapons. That park job was not easy, as there was a death involved, and the bug kept showing up in not-so friendly spaces (think entrance to the 2nd level). Hardly did make it to the third level, but was cut down by two irresistable forces before even getting to the endless-bug-spawning chamber--Bnet dumped the game, and someone named after a Hanna Barbera character was called to rest by she-who-shall-not-be-disobeyed. Another day, then.

Hardly_Able's Journey Through Hell Part 2B

Maggot Lair, Part Deux

Before I start the tale of the second run at Coldcrow, a little good news from the first run---a beautiful new weapon for Haseen.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-ogreaxe.jpg

Being a good packrat, Hardly had stowed a freedom jewel, hoping that a nice weapon would eventually drop for Haseen. Hardly used his one remaining socket quest (normal quest was used to socket Haseen's lance for a perfect skull), and Haseen had a new toy. BIG difference.

Hardly started his second attempt at the Maggot Lair from the Far Oasis waypoint. Remember the Dirty (half) Dozed from Sewers 3? Well, it seems the second half of the Dirty Dozen decided to camp within shouting distance of the Far Oasis waypoint that night. First up, and worst of all, was this character.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-fo1.jpg

This bug just REFUSED to die. Since he was immune to physical, the arcing weapons were out. Problem was, he kept diving into the sand as his life got low, and his regeneration kept him alive. Normally, poison on one of Hardly's charms keeps monsters from regenerating, but no dice here. The arcing weapons could barely keep him at about 1/4 life. Finally, Hardly had to break out the imbued flying axe with pmh (but no elemental damage), tag the bug with pmh, then weapon switch to finish the job. The remainder of the Dirty (half) Dozen were combinations of Bugs, swarms, and (I think) cats. No pictures, there was too much fun to be had. It seems Hardly has a natural ability to generate boss pack swarms. Overall, after about 20-25 minutes, Hardly had cleared about a quarter of one area of the Oasis. Next, Hardly runs up against another big problem.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-beetleburst.jpg

Yes, that's right, immune to physical and lightning. Ruh Roh, Rorge. Magic resistant, stone skin, mana burn, for those of you scoring at home. So, whatever elemental weapons Hardly is able to shop in town are going to have their effectiveness cut by the magic resistance. Hardly started this fight, but luck smiled down in the form of a no-skills Barbarian named GoGoGadgets (driven by Variant Scum (tm) KingofPain). GGG's speciality is using Trang's set for free fireball and firewall, along with hexfire for plus fire skills, moonfall for slvl 11 meteor charges, a ring with fastcast and slvl 5 firebolt charges (synergy), ring with dim vision charges, a circlet with fastcast, mana and teleport charges, and weapon switch items with bonespear, teeth, and other necro curse charges. Here's a shot of GGG after defeating NM Baal

http://realmsbeyond.net/kop/GGGNMBaal.jpg

Note that GGG finished off NM Baal at clvl 52. KoP is a true nut, who routinely takes 50s level characters into Hell.

GGG finished off Beetleburst as Hardly watched, and the pair of Barbarian *warriors* trudged off to the Maggot Lair. At this point I think GGG was in his mid 60s, so his barbarian merc was still having some trouble. The pair trudged through the Maggot Lair, and the fights were lively enough that no cameras were allowed (or was it because all of GGG's gadgets kept interfering with the picture taking? :unsure: Auntie M (KoPs mf sorceress, Material_Girl) had to drop by a few times to replenish GGG's gold supply, but the pair of barbarians eventually made it to the Coldworm's chamber, albeit with a few deaths along the way. If there's anything more tough than soloing the maggot lair with a variant character, it's taking two or more variant characters down there. One item of note: For once in as long as I can remember, KoP's character actually had more base life than mine--Hardly was at 300 life before BO, and GGG was sitting at about 314 (Hardly has yet to add to vitality).

As an aside--Hardly had tried to hit the Lair with another Realms Beyond friend right before hitting the sewers. This friend was sporting an axe-wielding charger (fanat aura). At the time of Hardly's entrance, the Queen had been spawning for a bit--and these two nuts had no chance. After about 15 minutes, there were more bugs in there than they started. Hardly gave up, and I brought in my matriarch trapper. Less than ten death sentries later, all the bugs were gone. Stark relief of the difference between restricted and (mostly) unrestricted.

Anyway, back to Hardly and GGG, and Coldworm. I have been dreading this fight more than any other...just remembering the fight I had with my leaper in the chamber. In the end, my leaper had to leap into the chamber, wedge out some space, grab the staff, and port out of there. He was unable (at the time) to keep up with the spawn solo in a 3 player game, since he was leap attack (or berserk) only at the time. So, it was a bit surprising how well GGG and Hardly took out the chamber. Sure, it took about ten minutes, but there was no doubt from the start that we were making progress. Funny how a no-skills character made the difference here--in that I am sure. Only one death for Hardly in the Coldworm fight--right at the start Hardly tried to leap into the chamber and snatch the staff--no dice. He was surrounded and killed, so Hardly was limited to a single pair of spears for the rest of the fight. Also, Hardly leveled to 75 during the trip to visit Coldworm.

Now, along the way to the lair, Hardly had spotted his first magic winged axe at Fara's shop. Having saved his runes, jewels and rubies, it was time to craft a hell-worthy weapon.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-wingedaxecraft1.jpg

Hard to find fault with that as a first result for a no-twink crafter. Guess it's Christmas in May. :santa:

So, as Hardly was ready to head to the Lost City and the Valley of Snakes, his damage output has been improved by over 40% for one of his weapons. Only drawback is that he did not have another axe to pair with this one, so he could not unleash the full fury of 180 axes at a clip.

Snakes, why did it have to be Snakes?

Hardly had to begin his quest for the Viper Amulet from the Far Oasis waypoint. Luckily, the Dirty (half) Dozen must have moved on to other places, and the trip proved easier than the last time. Even Beetleburst was cooperative.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-beetleburst1.jpg

I mean, Who's afraid of Cold Enchanted, Lightning Enchanted?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-me.jpg

Oh yeah. Well, the Lost City was more of a trudge than a real danger. Hardly had to be very careful to keep Haseen away from packs of Plague Bearers, whose hard-hitting attacks were really only dangerous in mobs. Otherwise, since these guys are SLOW, not much danger to Hardly. There were also Night Tigers--speedy little kitties--and of course you know that means a pack of extra fast kitties is around the corner.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lostcity1.jpg

Yep that was one of Haseen's dirt naps. Hardly could not get Haseen out of there fast enough. Lively start to the city. But overall, not too bad a journey, especially since Hardly got to use the stairs to the upper level portion of the city to his advantage for two boss packs. First up is a SLOW mover.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lostcity4.jpg

This pack of kitties could have been trouble, but again, the stairs served to thin the pack and keep Hardly and Haseen safe.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lostcity5.jpg

Luck was also in Hardly's favor when Aura enchanted bosses were being assigned, since all the auras were on plague bearers, including the fanatacism enchanted pack. The other monster type was marauders, but none of them were of note, even the champs. Dark Elder also did not make a big fuss, even ringing up extra strong and extra fast. Weeding out the pack was the key with the slow moving, hard hitters.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-darkelder.jpg

Finally, Hardly hit the Valley (like, you know) after dispatching yet another plague bearer boss. Time for indoor fun (Hardly likes the wide open spaces, where he can run and run....)

Well, well, there seems to be a welcoming committee of snakes, mummies, skeletons, and a nasty Guardian Mummy Boss. Hardly was able to carve out a small working space, and managed to shatter a few skeletons and mummies (cold damage on Haseen's ogre axe and charms from Hardly) so that Haseen and Hardly could go after the boss.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-vipertemple.jpg

This guy was parked within a screen of the entrance to the temple. Worse yet, he managed to teleport right on top of Hardly at one point in the fight. Hardly managed to make his way to the stairs almost directly (dumbluckhack), returned to town, repaired his weapons, stocked his massive two-row cracked sash with potions, and prepared for a brawl.

Hardly hit the stairs, and thankfully the snakes had not yet swarmed the entry corridor. Hardly taunted and Haseen tempted more and more snakes into the corridor. The battle went well for about a half a minute, then Fangskin shows up. Retreat up the stairs, and think of a new plan. The retreat required a fat purple--Haseen set off the sparks, and old Fangy was convicted. Hrm...time for a desparate attempt to leap past Fangy, and set up a safe area in another part of the altar room.

Hardly lept over Fangskin and his goons, raced along the top edge of the room, and set up a portal in the far corner.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-vipertemple1.jpg

From there, Hardly and Haseen were away from Fangskin's goons (sparks and aura), and could deal with one snake at a time. A few minutes later, and Hardly was able to clear the lower end of the room, touch the alter, and set himself up to snipe at Fangskin from the safety of the protected altar platform.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-fangskin.jpg

Hardly had to gulp a few potions as random sparks hit him. With -33 lightning resistance (and conviction), on Fangskin, each spark HURT. Looking back on the fight, Hardly was VERY lucky that ol' Fangy did not teleport onto him and administer the old "Surprise, You're Dead!" trick.

So, Hardly survives another tough fight, and gets another bonus when Fara decides to stock another winged axe. Time to roll the crafting dice, though this result is not quite as drool-worthy, but does allow Hardly to equip a pair of winged axes as primary weapons.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-wingedaxecraft2.jpg

Now on to the rest of Act 2.

(to be continued)

Hardly_Able's Journey Through Hell Part 2C

The Palace--aka Death by Archers

After his glorious (lucky?) victory over the snakes, it is time for Hardly to head to the palace. Now if you remember anything about Hardly, it is that he does not like confined spaces, especally DARK ones. Add to that mucho-fast, hard-hitting ranged attackers, and you can get the picture that Hardly is not at all suited for palace life. Besides, who wants a nekkid, poor, strapped for cash loner hanging around their palace. Methinks Jehryn needs his head examined for inviting Hardly over. :wacko:

In any case, Hardly does not feel the need for full clearing the palace (at least if he wants to keep the "wake-up-town-face-down" count to single digits). Requirements are clearing a path to each level exit, palace waypoint, and Fire Eye. Let the carnage begin!

The draw includes LOTS of horror archers. Add in blunderbores, and horror mages, and life gets REAL interesting. Actually, the first couple of floors were not too bad, and Hardly made it to the Palace 1 waypoint without too much difficulty. He was beginning to think that the trip to the Arcane Sanctuary might just go quickly.

Well, soon after hitting Palace 2, this guy shows up. Spectral hit and cursed. Not too bad, right?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-palace1.jpg

[sound of an approaching, caffeine-saturated mob]

Is that what I think it is?

You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?

Well, for a second there, I kinda did...

Silly Rabbit.

WHAM! Hardly goes down fast. Begin the knees bent running about behavior, trying to combat an extra fast pack of baboons, while cold enchanted archers slow Hardly to a crawl. Did I mention how much Hardly LOVES being cold? :rolleyes: Just re-gaining a foothold by the stairs took 15 minutes, ending with the dispatching of a real nasty horror archer boss, who Hardly affectionately dubbed Mr. SpeedyFreezyZappy, with backup weapons no less.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-palace2.jpg

Another ten minutes, and Hardly and Haseen managed to dispatch Mr. SpeedyBaboon, and recover the good weapons (not to mention zee uber cracked sash)

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-palace4.jpg

That was the last of Mr. SpeedyFreezyZappy's henchmen. Hardly was so blue without the incredible protection of his uber cracked sash :blink:

On to the final level of the palace, and showdown with Fire Eye. Only first, one more boss to plant. Another piece of cake, of course. :P

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-palace3.jpg

Fire Eye and his boys were camped out in the portal room, which Hardly first took to be good news. Those scatterbrained Infidels, tend to not concentrate on a single target, instead running around at random, which, when they are extra fast, could mean real trouble for a life-challenged clothing optional guy like Hardly. Fortunately, Haseen managed to plug the doorway. Problem was, the mob was extra strong...so Hardly had to feed Haseen some violet juice to keep Haseen from hitting the chocolate covered pills again. Still, the battle did not take too long, as Fire Eye and his ilk aren't the most hardy of demons.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-fireeye.jpg

Ghost Town and The Laughing Boy

On to the Arcane Santuary, and its teeming ghosts. Hardly equiped the arcing weapons as his backup, and prepared for slow progress. Well, the first main intersection revealed a nasty parade of bosses, starting with this chap.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-arcane1.jpg Yum...speedy, hard-hitting, and immune to physical??!! Talk about insulting...bad enough that the place is filled to the brim with ghosts...now a physically immune goat. And yes, that is another boss behind him.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-arcane2.jpg

That encounter was not the hairiest...there were several intersections with two bosses, or champ packs with bosses, and Hardly had to trap monsters at intersections, all the while trying to keep Haseen close, but Haseen seemed to have something else on his mind. Perhaps he was stargazing?

At one point, Hardly had to rush past a champ pack of goats and take them on from another angle, since trying to take them on from the front would have forced him to sit there and take fireballs and firewalls from a boss vampire pack at the top of the stairs. That was probably the riskiest move in the whole run. Hardly cleared one leg...no luck. He saved the teleport leg after revealing it, and headed down the straight/lightning spire leg. No great problems there, except at some point the ghosts started ignoring Haseen--making a beeline for Hardly every time. There were about three packs that did this---each time forcing Hardly into run-and-gun mode--pecking away at their life with two arcing weapons (1-340 damage each). Those last three packs took twenty minutes to kill.

After that fun...luck smiled on Hardly, and he hears the deep laughter of the Summoner. Hardly lures away the vampires, dispatching them, runs around the Summoner to get Haseen to engage, and then makes short work of laughing boy. Who's laughing now, chump???!

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-summoner.jpg

At this point, Hardly decides to rest for a bit, and try out some more crafting

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-wingedaxecraft3.jpg

Nothing to write home about on the damage, but with the 10% IAS, Hardly can now equip this axe with his 232 ED axe, and pair his other winged axe (~110ED) with the flying axe he imbued (20 ias, pmh, knockback, etc.) That gives him an all-axe lineup (more ammo), with a 7 frame attack with each setup.

False Start

At this point, Hardly's plan was to clear all of the Canyon of the Magi, and then head to the true tomb. Hardly started off from the Canyon waypoint, heading South and West to limit his exposure and maintain the waypoint clear. Night tigers, lightning bugs, and night slingers as the draw, so positioning will be key to avoid getting zapped or speared. The first noteworthy boss required LOTS of happy feet...this is exactly what you do NOT want to see on a slinger as a clothing-challenged axe-chucker.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-canyon1.jpg

As if that weren't enough fun for the trip, Hardly then runs into a boss that he immediately decides to send on a one-way ticket to Park Place (which has two hotels, by the way :P).

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-canyonPILI.jpg

At this point, Hardly's journey is cut off by other world concerns, so Duriel gets to enjoy a bug's life for another day.

]Holding Down the Fort

Now, Hardly has been graced to have two semi-regular travelling companions, InspiredHope, the no-skills Daggerzon piloted by ShadowHM, and GoGoGadgetz, a no-skills, fireball spewing barbarian piloted by KingofPain. So, it was not surprising that Hardly ran into InspiredHope at Atma's, and agreed to help her root the Summoner. It seems that InspiredHope has had a little trouble--she had cleared five arms of the arcane in total over two separate attempts to find the Summoner. The two companions endured what is perhaps InspiredHope's biggest nemesis...no, not the lack of AR, not the lack of skills...the dreaded fraggy connection. Hardly lost count how many times InspiredHope stood in place...only to disappear a moment later. Luckily, things stabilized, and Hardly dispacted Laughing Boy for a second time, this time to InspiredHope's great joy.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-summonershadow.jpg

The journey of Hardly_Able has been mostly alone, but he relishes every opportunity to catch up with like-minded souls. Hardly's patience in holding on for InspiredHope to return after each drop was rewarded by another winged axe from Fara, which resulted in another crafting attempt.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-wingedaxecraft4.jpg

Two of four winged axes crafted over 230 ED. Someone out there is watching out for Hardly, no doubt about it.

To the End with Friends

Another night's rest, and Hardly head's out to grab a pint at Atma's, and who does he find, but his two companions, InspiredHope and GoGoGadgetz. It seems GGG feels the need to take on a few snakes, visit Laughing Boy, and then go on a bug hunt. Yeah, that sounds good.

First up, Lost City. The three companions stab, chuck, and roast enemies like they have been running together for years (truth be told, Shadow, KoP and I have played a whole lot together lately, mostly friendly fire...and we had to adjust to being able to fire at will without fear of hurting each other--this caused no end of laughter throughout the journey).

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-lostcityggg1.jpg

On to the Viper Temple, and a nice little stair trap for the trio.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-viperggg1.jpg

That was a hairy start, but the combination of GGG's charged-item cursing, the three tank mercs, InspiredHope's tanking (max block is a Good Thing (tm) ), and Hardly's Taunting & Chucking, the trio gained a foothold.

Soon after, the companions spotted the stairs, and discussed strategy. They decided to decend and hold, hoping that the snakes would come in slow enough to maintain the foothold at the bottom of the stairs. Fate was on their side, and they planted Fangskin at the end of the entrance hallway with llittle fuss, heading around the top of the room toward the altar. One boss stood between them and the restoration of light.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-vipertempleggg.jpg

Next up, another visit to Laughing Boy. The combination of the sanctuary aura on InspiredHope's boytoy (Lawbringer) and GGG's fire made short work of the endless sea of ghosts. But the best part of the trip was GGG's navigation skills...Laughing Boy was found at the end of the first leg.

On to the Canyon, and the true tomb. The trio joked about their differences, with spoiled rich kid GGG (his Auntie M keeps him well supplied with gold) mocking Hardly's working-man's appoach to travel (aka horking every body for pots or items to sell). One real hairy spot in the Canyon, where Hardly went down right quick.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-canyontripleenchanted.jpg

Nothing like a triple elemental enchantement to make your day, right?

The tomb held more ghosts, greater mummies, and mummies. Hardly stuck his neck out as much as he could to taunt the greater mummies...keeping them from resurrecting, and InspiredHope charged the gangly undead. Her boytoy's aura kept the trio safe on more than one occasion as they searched for the oriface chamber. After about a half an hour of tough fights and seaching, it was time for a bug hunt.

Bug roast, anyone?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-duriel1.jpg

GGG takes time to renew his charged curse, as a chilled InspiredHope stabs away.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-duriel2.jpg

Say your prayers, BUG!

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-duriel.jpg

The fight with Duriel was a breeze compared to getting there. Hardly didn't use a potion, and InspiredHope only used a few. The combination of three mercs, lots of stabbing, lower resist curse-enhanced fire, and two heavy-hitter winged axes made short work of the Big Bad Bug. Hardly had a chance to take shots from all around the chamber...with the best ones coming from the lower end. The trio headed back to Lut Gholein, and shortly boarded Meshif's ship bound for Kurast.

Hardly_Able finished Act 2 just shy of level 77. He will see you in Act 3.

Hardly_Able's Journey Through Hell Part 3A

The ]Dark Forest of Ewing Spider Forest

Sir Robin rode north through the dark forest of Ewing accompanied by his favorite minstrel...[b]AHEM[/b] Stop that!

Anyway Hardly set out from the Kurast docks, running after the Dark Wanderer, only to be met by silly worms. No problem. Next up, swarms of fetishes.

[color=gray]I have heard many people say they hate A3, especially the jungles. I love the jungles. The sounds of the jungles, and the cries of the fetishes/flayers/soul killers and their shamen are to me the most entertaining in the game. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep from giggling (and dying) when I hear the next pack of those little buggers come charging[/i][/color]

Now, to the first of the MANY bosses in the forest, brimming over with that cold enchantment Hardly so loves.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest1.jpg

Not much trouble here. Fetishes do not have much life, so even boss packs go down relatively quickly. Now for the first sign of trouble--fast regenerating, high life, Thrashers. This chap was no picnic, and Haseen took at least one dirt nap from his pack.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest2.jpg

Hardly decided that he would definately try to keep Haseen away from these chaps. Sometimes even just two normal treebeasts would threaten to send Haseen into a mud-filled dream. The first area turn-off held nothing other than another cold enchanted, extra strong boss.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest3.jpg

The next boss, his pack, and at least two other fetish pack managed to push Hardly and Haseen all the way back from the turn-off. They even managed to send Haseen to a dirt-filled slumber when they cut off his escape route. Hardly started to worry that his bankroll was quickly going down the tubes.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest4.jpg

Finally, as Hardly neared the clearing housing the entrance to Sszark's cavern, a pack of champ Thorned Hulks blocked his path. The fight took about ten minutes to knock down three of the champs, but the fourth one [s]stayed up[/s] was a bit more of a problem. That ghostly Thorned Hulk required Hardly to break out the flying axe with PMH and the arcing weapons, since he took little physical damage and was regenerating it all within seconds. That last boss took over ten minutes for Hardly to kill. Now on to the cavern, and Hardly met with heavy resistance right from the start.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern1.jpg

Yep, right at the entrance. Add another pack of spiders into the mix, and things got a bit hairy. Foreshadowing of things to come, unfortunately. Hardly generally tries to keep a portal open close by when engaging cursed or extra strong packs, so he can quickly skip back to town to heal up Haseen. Purple pots don't grow on trees, and are rare even when every body is horked for pots or items. Not much further along, Hardly runs into another not-so-easy boss.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern2.jpg[/img]

Great. Extra fast, cold enchanted. Separate the pack, and keep those hyped up arachnids off our tail. Actually the fight went better than Hardly originally expected, and he thought things might go smoothly here in the cavern.

Wrong.

Haseen[/b]: Hmm, that looks like Sszark...

Hardly_Able: Ok, let's run back a little...get some room. Wait?!! Is that another boss??!!

WHAM!

Hardly_Able: Well, Hi there Meshif. Nice to see you again too.

Yeah, that was two bosses, and Sszark with holy fire, so that the pulse curses as soon as anyone draws close. Hardly had one more visit to Meshif, leaving two sets of weapons on the cavern floor. Hardly picked up the trusty cruel throwing spears from his trunk, and set off back to the cavern with Haseen in tow. The two companions managed to run around a bit, knock off a few minions, and then isolate Sszark, lighting up the cavern with lots of pretty sparklies.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sszark.jpg

Notice the two bodies on the minimap. Sszark, in hell, completely naked with two cruel throwing spears shopped in A5 nm. Fun!

Time to find that other boss, and complete Hardly's revenge.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern3.jpg

So let's review the two boss packs Hardly encountered when he met Sszark. Extra Strong, cursed, lightning enchanted, aura (holy fire) enchanted, and extra fast, extra strong, magic resistant. The extra fast caused the second death-- as Hardly was scurrying around trying to clear space around his first body, he got caught by the boss, and was unable to break free.

Hit recovery? Who needs hit recovery?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-me.jpg

Ah, yes.

Now, Hardly was rather pleased that he managed to recover all his gear, and dispatch those two nasty spiders. He figured exterminating the rest of the cavern would be a piece of cake compared to the last fight.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern4.jpg

Wrong. After battling this guy for about five minutes, Hardly ran out of the cavern. The arcing weapons had little to no effect on this creepy-crawly, especially since Hardly was not able to connect very often. Boris gets to live another day.

Out of the cavern, and back to the forest. Only one more thing to do--find the waypoint and secure some progress along with the eye. This fetish blowdarter was all that stood in Hardly's way...

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest6.jpg

A bit more than a pinprick. That little bugger was nasty. Thank goodness he was not cold enchanted, as that would have made for quite a fight.

With the eye in hand, and the waypoint secure, Hardly decided to call it a night, and resume his journey in the morning. The Dark Forest of Ewing Spider Forest

Sir Robin rode north through the dark forest of Ewing accompanied by his favorite minstrel...[b]AHEM[/b] Stop that!

Anyway Hardly set out from the Kurast docks, running after the Dark Wanderer, only to be met by silly worms. No problem. Next up, swarms of fetishes.

[font=gray>I have heard many people say they hate A3, especially the jungles. I love the jungles. The sounds of the jungles, and the cries of the fetishes/flayers/soul killers and their shamen are to me the most entertaining in the game. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep from giggling (and dying) when I hear the next pack of those little buggers come charging

Now, to the first of the MANY bosses in the forest, brimming over with that cold enchantment Hardly so loves.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest1.jpg

Not much trouble here. Fetishes do not have much life, so even boss packs go down relatively quickly. Now for the first sign of trouble--fast regenerating, high life, Thrashers. This chap was no picnic, and Haseen took at least one dirt nap from his pack.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest2.jpg

Hardly decided that he would definately try to keep Haseen away from these chaps. Sometimes even just two normal treebeasts would threaten to send Haseen into a mud-filled dream. The first area turn-off held nothing other than another cold enchanted, extra strong boss.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest3.jpg

The next boss, his pack, and at least two other fetish pack managed to push Hardly and Haseen all the way back from the turn-off. They even managed to send Haseen to a dirt-filled slumber when they cut off his escape route. Hardly started to worry that his bankroll was quickly going down the tubes.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest4.jpg

Finally, as Hardly neared the clearing housing the entrance to Sszark's cavern, a pack of champ Thorned Hulks blocked his path. The fight took about ten minutes to knock down three of the champs, but the fourth one [s]stayed up[/s] was a bit more of a problem. That ghostly Thorned Hulk required Hardly to break out the flying axe with PMH and the arcing weapons, since he took little physical damage and was regenerating it all within seconds. That last boss took over ten minutes for Hardly to kill. Now on to the cavern, and Hardly met with heavy resistance right from the start.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern1.jpg

Yep, right at the entrance. Add another pack of spiders into the mix, and things got a bit hairy. Foreshadowing of things to come, unfortunately. Hardly generally tries to keep a portal open close by when engaging cursed or extra strong packs, so he can quickly skip back to town to heal up Haseen. Purple pots don't grow on trees, and are rare even when every body is horked for pots or items. Not much further along, Hardly runs into another not-so-easy boss.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern2.jpg

Great. Extra fast, cold enchanted. Separate the pack, and keep those hyped up arachnids off our tail. Actually the fight went better than Hardly originally expected, and he thought things might go smoothly here in the cavern.

Wrong.

Haseen: Hmm, that looks like Sszark...

Hardly_Able: Ok, let's run back a little...get some room. Wait?!! Is that another boss??!!

WHAM!

Hardly_Able: Well, Hi there Meshif. Nice to see you again too.

Yeah, that was two bosses, and Sszark with holy fire, so that the pulse curses as soon as anyone draws close. Hardly had one more visit to Meshif, leaving two sets of weapons on the cavern floor. Hardly picked up the trusty cruel throwing spears from his trunk, and set off back to the cavern with Haseen in tow. The two companions managed to run around a bit, knock off a few minions, and then isolate Sszark, lighting up the cavern with lots of pretty sparklies.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-sszark.jpg

Notice the two bodies on the minimap. Sszark, in hell, completely naked with two cruel throwing spears shopped in A5 nm. Fun!

Time to find that other boss, and complete Hardly's revenge.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern3.jpg

So let's review the two boss packs Hardly encountered when he met Sszark. Extra Strong, cursed, lightning enchanted, aura (holy fire) enchanted, and extra fast, extra strong, magic resistant. The extra fast caused the second death-- as Hardly was scurrying around trying to clear space around his first body, he got caught by the boss, and was unable to break free.

Hit recovery? Who needs hit recovery?

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-me.jpg

Ah, yes.

Now, Hardly was rather pleased that he managed to recover all his gear, and dispatch those two nasty spiders. He figured exterminating the rest of the cavern would be a piece of cake compared to the last fight.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spidercavern4.jpg

Wrong. After battling this guy for about five minutes, Hardly ran out of the cavern. The arcing weapons had little to no effect on this creepy-crawly, especially since Hardly was not able to connect very often. Boris gets to live another day.

Out of the cavern, and back to the forest. Only one more thing to do--find the waypoint and secure some progress along with the eye. This fetish blowdarter was all that stood in Hardly's way...

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest6.jpg

A bit more than a pinprick. That little bugger was nasty. Thank goodness he was not cold enchanted, as that would have made for quite a fight.

With the eye in hand, and the waypoint secure, Hardly decided to call it a night, and resume his journey in the morning.

Hardly's a Lumberjack, and He's OK (Part 3b)

He carries axes, so trees beware!

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest7.jpg

That pack wasn't too bad. The next walking tree posed a bit more of a problem. Nothing like a frenzied, stone skin, quick healing walking tree bearing down on you when you're cursed, right? :rolleyes:

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest8.jpg

Ok, now one would think that a nekkid barbarian is in tune with nature, right? Well, Hardly does NOT like hugging trees, ok? Especially when they try to give him a chilling frenzy hug. [shudder]

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-spiderforest9.jpg

Hardly_Able: I'm a nekkid Lumberjack and I'm ok. I sleep all night and I chuck all day.

Haseen[/b]: He's a nekkid Lumberjack, and he's ok. He sleeps all night, and he chucks all day.

Hardly_Able: I cut down walking trees, I eat my lunch. I repair at Hralti. On Wednesdays I go horking, and have fat rejuvs for tea.

]Haseen: He cuts down walking trees, he eats his lunch. He repairs at Hralti. On Wednesdays he goes horking, and has fat rejuvs for tea.

Hardly_Able: [in unison with Haseen] I'm a nekkid Lumberjack and I'm ok. I sleep all night and I chuck all day.

Haseen: [in unison with Hardly][/i] He's a nekkid Lumberjack, and he's ok. He sleeps all night, and he chucks all day.

Hardly_Able: I cut down walking trees, I taunt and leap, I like to press wild flowers. I never wear any clothing, and my backpack's full of charms.

Haseen]: He cuts down walking trees, he taunts and leaps, he likes to press wild flowers. He never wears any clothing, and his backpack's full of charms?

Hardly_Able: [in unison with Haseen] I'm a nekkid Lumberjack and I'm ok. I sleep all night and I chuck all day.

Haseen: [in unison with Hardly] He's a nekkid Lumberjack, and he's ok. He sleeps all night, and he chucks all day.

Hardly_Able: I cut down walking trees, I wear broken gloves, cracked sash, but no bra. :lol: I wish I'd been a twinkie, just like my dear papa!

Haseen: He cuts down walking trees, he wears broken gloves, cracked sash, but no bra. :blink:: I wish he'd been a twinkie, just like his dear papa!

Hardly_Able: [in unison with Haseen][/i] I'm a nekkid Lumberjack and I'm ok. I sleep all night and I chuck all day.

]Haseen: [in unison with Hardly] He's a nekkid Lumberjack, and he's ok. He sleeps all night, and he chucks all day.

Thankfully, before Hardly and Haseen could break into another chorus, InspiredHope arrived and prodded the companions onward. Just when Hardly was sure they were destined for a trip to Gloamsville, InspiredHope spotted the Jungle, and the four travellers left the forest (and silly lumberjack songs) behind.

You Know Where You Are? You're in the Jungle, Baby!

InspiredHope's and Hardly's welcome to the Jungle was this pack of blowdarters

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer1.jpg</img>

Each one of those darts was worth at least a third of Hardly's life. At least they weren't cold enchanted, right? Next up, more darts, this time doubly elemental, with a little extra punch.

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer2.jpg</img>

Still, not cold enchanted. Life is good. :rolleyes: Of course, that boss was withing a short jungle call of his twin, Seethe Ripper (redux). You can see the death explosion of the Seethe Ripper, the first right by Hardly's feet as he chucks away and Haseen, InspiredHope, and her boytoy slice up this juiced up pack of flayers.

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer3.jpg</img>

Now to the Flayer Shamen bosses. The first one fell without too much fuss, after all, he was only cursed, magic resistant, and spectral hit. The next offeriing of Shamen boss has a bit more punch. Here he is, after Inspired cut him down to size.

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer6.jpg</img>

The next Flayer Shamen boss made an immediate impression on Hardly.

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer7.jpg</img>

Nothing like a little elemental damage coupled with conviction. Hardly was extremely happy to have three tanks wailing away at this guy, while Hardly kept his distance.

Wonder what this chap ate? That's some serious heartburn!

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer8.jpg</img>

Another poster boy for tums, only this time his heartburn hurts everyone else. Note how Hardly is positioned WELL away from this guy.

<img>http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-flayer9.jpg</img>

Other than all those bosses, and a few others not worthy of pictures (Hardly has to fight sometime, you know :P), the four companions managed to grab the gidbinn, and located the entrance to the flayer dungeon. Time for dank, dark, close quarters fighting. Everything Hardly loves about the indoors.

If You Had a Brain, You Would Not Go Here ==

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/11_ben.jpg

Manacles! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be allowed to be put in manacles... just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny.

First level of the dungeon was not too bad...sure, swarming packs, ghosts, and lightning bats. The bosses were not too bad. First was this guy, who got chopped down to size right quick.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon1.jpg

The other boss on level one was a cursed, fire echanted chap, again not too much trouble for Hardly and InspiredHope. Unfortunately, the second level would not be so easy. The group soon found themselves facing two boss packs, one of ghosts and a fanaticism enchanted group of bats. Initial contact is made...

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon2.jpg

Things turned ugly within seconds. Hardly lost count how many times Meshif helped him up from a nice prone position on the docks in Kurast. Hardly and Inspired took turns trying to lure the ghosts to a spot where they could be dispatched one at a time, which took about ten minutes of pell mell fighting. Finally, the ghost boss was isolated and surrounded.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon3.jpg

Hardly would alternate between the arcing weapons and his normal axes depending on whether the boss was hit with the decrep from InspiredHope's boytoy, Hal. You can see InspiredHope is playing FireEngineRed at this point. :lol: Kudos went to Hal in this fight--he pretty much took out the ghost all on his own.

Hardly and Hal then turned their sights to the pack of fanatic gloombats, while InspiredHope (aka FireEngineRed) and Haseen hung back.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon4.jpg

Funny, while Hardly was trying to take out this pack of bats, he felt a deep chill. Uh oh, that means that these bats are from yet ANOTHER boss pack.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon5.jpg

You can see InspiredHope's body there between Hardly and the chiller bats. I think we fought for about 10-15 minutes to clear a path to her body. But wait...Hardly noticed that there were too many bats for just one boss pack...Uh oh! The good news is that Inspired got her gear back, but the bad news is that there was YET ANOTHER cold enchanted bat around that corner. Hardly and Inspired RAN, using up some real estate to string out the pack and re-engage.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon7.jpg

Finally the two re-equipped warriors and their companions dispached the last of the FOUR bosses.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-dungeon6.jpg

Definately a tough fight in close quarters. After this cluster of bosses, the remaining trip to the last staircase was uneventful. In fact, things were too quiet even on the third level of the dungeon, which caused a bit of angst for the four travellers. At last, they ran headlong into the Witch Doctor's lair, where Hardly got the chills, and had to rely on InspiredHope, Hal, and Haseen to do the heavy lifting.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-witchdoctorendugu.jpg

[b]Guardian of the Gateway[/b][/size]

With their newly acquired brains, the companions found the jungle waypoint with little difficulty, at which point InspiredHope decided to end her journey for the evening. Hardly pressed on, sensing that the edges of Kurust were nearby. Sure enough, he quickly spotted some heaps of gold on the ground, and he knew that Stormtree would be nearby. Time to don the red and black plaid of the lumberjack one more time. Hardly and Haseen taunted Stormtree's minions out one-by-one, slowly chopping away at their life as the pair retreated along the banks of the jungle rivers. Finally Stormtree was left with no minions. Hardly and Haseen squared off with the guardian of the gateway to Kurast.

http://sheridan.freewebpage.org/diablo/images/HA-hell-stormtree.jpg

Stormtree put up a valiant fight, but the night was Hardly's. The pair of exhausted warriors entered the ruins of Kurast, knowing that the long jungle trek was now behind them....(to be continued)