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+#REDIRECT [[Xanthippe (Act III)#Chapter 20]]
-"Hiya, Alkor."
-"Hello, stupid girl.  You plague my morning once again.  Have you more money to give me?"
-After raiding the licorice jar, Xanthippe said, "I'm off to Travincal.  Know anything important about the place?"
-"No!  It is a city of temples and devotionals.  Faith and preaching give me hives."
-"How's the book of Lam Esen?"
-"Absolutely fascinating!  Events are proceeding exactly as Lam Esen foretold."
-"What did he foretell?"
-"That we are utterly ruined!" Alkor squealed.
-"This is news?" Xanthippe went through the jar again.  "Does he say anything about me in there?"
-"There is mention of a small, bratty girl, who goes to hell as her reward."
-"Good to know I'm going places," Xanthippe mused. "Now, about Natalya..."
-Alkor looked nervous. "Who is Natalya?"
-"Alkor, you're a really bad liar.  Stop trying.  The tall woman in black."
-"Ah, she is very friendly and kind.  She leaves me alone!"
-"Well, if you didn't make yourself so much fun to torment, I wouldn't be here.  Natalya's been here too, I'm guessing."
-"She did not say anything!"
-Xanthippe pouted.  "Are you sure sure sure?"
-"Yes yes yes!  Now go away!"
-"She didn't mention Hratli, did she?"
-"No!"
-"All right, then... I'll leave you alone."
-"Good!  And do not come back."
-"Not even to take some licorice off your hands?"
-"I will run out of patience before I run out of candy for you!"
-Xanthippe slowly ambled towards the door. "Here I go.  Zoom."
-"Have you not something to kill?  You are no better than Hratli.  Always messing about with his silly magic weapons.  It is not as though he has the stones to use them on anything."
-"I don't have any either.  Guess I'll have to stay here."
-"No, you will not!  You have more stones than anyone but Asheara.  Now go away!"
-Stumbling around the tiny hut, Xanthippe tripped over a stool. "Oh, I've fallen, and I can't get up.  I'll have to stay here forever and ever and ever."
-"You get off of my floor!  I do all of my best thinking there."
-"Hey Alkor, what are all those skulls you have in your roof?"
-"Stubborn and willful customers!  Where are you going?  Get away from there!"
-Xanthippe had rolled along the floor, and was going through the dusty piles of stuff under Alkor's bed. "Hey!  A recipe book!"
-"Those are mine!  And you would not understand them.  Go away!"
-"Alkor, why have you dog-eared the page with a love potion on it?"
-"That was many years ago, stupid girl.  And I will not make that potion again for you!"
-"Can I have a potion of womanliness?  Asheara thinks I haven't developed enough."
-"I fear for the world if anything about you develops any more!"
-Xanthippe paged through the book. "How about a potion of strength?"
-"That one makes you smell, and grow hair in peculiar places." Alkor was beginning to turn beet-red.
-"Now, GO AWAY!"
-"Oh, all right.  Time to go to Travincal, and kill priests and councilmen."
-Alkor smiled, much relieved. "Kill as many as you can.  I have a morbid love of excess."
-After taking the waypoint back to Travincal, Xanthippe and Kasim teleported to the causeway which surrounded the city.  It was probably the safest way to look the city over.  Skirting around Travincal, they found many black-clad zealots (would have been rough running into them in the dark) and priests, as well as more ghouls.  The causeway wasn't completely safe, there were stairs the zealots could attack up, and weather-summoning spells could still get them. Xanthippe's thunderstorm could get all of them, and it did an impressive amount of damage now; some of the weaker monsters died in one strike.
-Around the backside of Travincal, they found the black tower.  It was very tall indeed; the high council of Zakarum had a very impressive... edifice.  The council itself was not to be seen.  Why black, Xanthippe wondered?  The local stone isn't black.  Maybe it had been stained with all the filthy thoughts being thought inside.  Actually, circling the city was helpful in more than one way: not only were they relatively safe, their long weapons could strike down the Zakarumites who chased them around the lower levels.  Why did those zealots just stand there and be hit, knowing they couldn't reach far enough to strike back?  Even religion doesn't make you that stupid, does it?
-Cain thought that Mephisto might be using a Compelling Orb, an arcane device capable of sapping the will of those bound by vow into an organization.  Yet another reason to never take religious vows, Xanthippe thought.  Xanthippe led Kasim down among the buildings of Travincal, smashing ghouls and priests; most of the foot soldiers were dead by now, so there was no one to protect the artillery.  As they approached the black tower, they got a good look at the council members through the windows.
-Ew.  Ew ew ew.  The corrupted Rogues sometimes had horns, or tails, or maybe huge fangs, but this went far beyond that.  The councilors were twisted, limping things, grossly deformed in just about every way.  Tumors bulging out of skulls, one huge arm and the other withered to a stick, fangs arcing out of the mouth all the way up to the eyes... gah, hadn't their followers noticed?  They must be using mind control.  As she went by, the council members summoned hydras to harass her.  This was not demonic in itself, Hydras are actually fire elementals, but Xanthippe's fire resistance was still awful.  Again, she dearly wished she could wear her new greaves... but for now, she'd better switch to the shield and sword.
-The battle with the council went smoothly.  Apparently, what was affecting their bodies also ruined their brains; they came out one at a time and fought in single combat.  Leaving a trail of chopped-up bodies and less-than-ideal magic items, Xanthippe and Kasim drew them out of the tower one by one.  There were some tentacle beasts in the pools beside the tower; having very special feelings towards tentacles, Xanthippe smashed their heads in.  The last council member to die had, among other things, a flail with three gold balls.
-"Think he was a pawnbroker?" Xanthippe smirked.
-"Is that the thing you were looking for?" Kasim asked.
-"Yeah.  Not sure I really want it.  It's another holy relic."
-Kasim shrugged. "Doesn't sound so bad."
-"Maybe.  Religious stuff gets so weird."
-After returning to town, Xanthippe scooped the eye, brain, and heart out of her luggage and set them with the flail.  Nothing happened.  Wasn't there supposed to be a shaft of light, a heavenly choir singing a single pure note, something?  She rapped each relic with the shaft of the flail.  Nothing.  She rested each ball on one of the relics, then propped each relic up on one ball.  Still nothing.  Cain suggested putting them all in the Horadric Cube and pressing the button.  You'd think making a holy relic wouldn't involve alchemical transformations, but it worked.  Each of the balls now looked like a little spiky skull, and the whole thing had a golden glow.
-Xanthippe picked up the flail.  "Ok, what's so great about it?"
-It's a pleasure to meet you, finally.
-Kasim and Cain found themselves gazing up at the top of the pyramid, where Xanthippe had leapt with a single bound.  "Who said that!?" Xanthippe asked no one in particular.
-Just me.
-"Oh God, this is getting so freaky.  The flail is talking to me."
-If you'd been stuffed in a box for this long, you'd appreciate a little conversation too.  I can tell you're feeling a little fragile now, so why don't you just calm your nerves and climb down, one step at a time, before we both fall.  That might hurt.
-"You know, if your balls didn't look like skulls, it might be less nervous-making."  Xanthippe carefully climbed down, and looked at the flail.  "What's up with that, anyway?"
-I have been dead for some time.  What should my balls look like?
-Xanthippe frowned. "Look buster, I found an eye, a heart, and a brain.  Let's leave any other anatomical parts out of this!"
-Very funny.
-"Uh, what's going on?" Kasim looked confused.
-"Here, hold this." Xanthippe passed Kasim the flail.
-"Whoa!"  Kasim's eyes widened, and then he laughed.  "Hey, good one, man."
-"What did he say?" Xanthippe asked.
-Holding the flail and listening intently, Kasim started grinning.  "Oh, man, that's harsh.  I thought you were supposed to be a saint!"
-"Wait, what's he saying?"
-Now, Kasim was laughing. "Yeah, and she doesn't think they're big enough, either!"
-Xanthippe snatched the flail back.  "What were you saying?"
-Nothing of importance.
-That flail was laughing.  Xanthippe just knew it.  "Do you want me to bash your heads in on a rock?  Tell me what you were saying."
-Part of growing up is getting used to disappointment.
-"Well, what if I don't WANNA grow up?"
-You know it is inevitable.  A great deal depends on you.
-Snarling, Xanthippe shrieked, "What if I don't WANT things to depend on me?"
-You can't always get what you want.  But if you try, sometimes, you get what you need.
-Xanthippe fumed.  "Very funny.  What I need is to whack Mephisto."
-That is true, but there is a difficulty.  After his brothers entered the durance intended to contain him, Mephisto locked the doors and sealed them all inside.
-"So the Three are together.  But if they're locked in..."
-They will open a gate to Hell, and bring forth their armies from below.
-"Crap."
-A direct conduit to Hell would provoke that out of most people.  You need to open the durance to reach them and stop them.
-"How do you know all this, anyway?"
-One of my ears is hidden in the council chamber.
-"Ew."
-You get used to it after a while.  The Black Tower key is sealed inside the Compelling Orb.
-"How do I get it out?" Xanthippe asked, expecting another long, convoluted quest that would take far too much time to be practical.
-The Compelling Orb can be destroyed by being struck with a holy artifact.
-Looking at the flail in her hand, Xanthippe was a bit surprised. "Why didn't you just say so?"
-Because destroying the Orb will also destroy the artifact.
-"Oh.  I was going to use you to whack Mephisto."
-You do not need me for that, child.  Any weapon will do for Mephisto and his brothers.
-"But if you're destroyed, won't you... die, or whatever?"
-And finally be released from this plane?  Yes, I would, and for the best possible cause.
-Khalim seemed remarkably at peace with what Xanthippe needed to do, and Xanthippe didn't see any alternative.  He didn't seem like such a bad person, and if release from this plane of existence was agreeable to him, she wouldn't put up an argument.  Besides, she wasn't sure she wanted a talking weapon.  The Compelling Orb shattered into a million pieces and vanished in puffs of black, greasy smoke.  The flail disintegrated in a burst of golden light, and a misty form rose and vanished into the sky.  The shattered base of the Compelling Orb held a huge iron key, which Xanthippe used to open the iron trapdoor leading down into the tower basement.
-Back in town, everyone was overjoyed.  The jungle was already dying back, trees were shrinking visibly, even the Flayers they'd captured for the Flayer races looked scared.  They were still vicious little bastards, but there was a look of desperation to it now.  Natalya was nowhere to be seen, again.  Meshif picked Xanthippe up, armor and all, and gave her the biggest hug of her life; he'd taken Kurast's corruption harder than most, but Xanthippe was using those ribs, thank you very much.  When she went to visit Alkor, she found him up in the rafters of his little hut.
-"Alkor, do you think you're a monkey?"
-"Shhh!  I am hiding from the puppy children."
-"Puppy children?"
-"Yes, the horrible puppy children.  They have big black eyes, little red noses, and white faces like a spooky clown."
-Xanthippe stared at him.  "I'll come back later."
-Asheara was very pleased.  "That was the greatest thing I've ever seen anybody do.  I've sent my Wolves away from the docks to wipe out what's left of Zakarum.  You sure you don't want a job after all this is over?  You could be my lieutenant, just ask."
-"Nah, I don't like the climate here."
-Asheara laughed. "If you were behind the lines, you could dress a little cooler..."
-"Ah..." Xanthippe smirked. "But, Ms. Lightly-Clad, what if I look better than you?"
-"Not likely.  Actually, you're probably right.  From what I've seen, you'd make a pretty lousy leader of men."
-Xanthippe smiled. "I guess I just don't have your big motivating factors." With a gasp, she put a finger to Asheara's chest.  "Ooh, is that a chest hair?"
-"What?" Asheara looked down.  Xanthippe flicked her finger up under her nose.  "Gotcha!"
-As Xanthippe giggled, Asheara frowned... and punched Xanthippe into the river.  "Ow.  Damn, I hate punching out people wearing helmets."
-Fortunately, the river outside Asheara's door was only two feet deep.  Nonetheless, Kasim ran out to check.  If all the padding Xanthippe wore got soaked, she'd have a lot of trouble getting up off the river bottom.  "She's not coming up!"
-"Poke around down there with your axe," Asheara said. "No, the other end, the one that's not sharp!  Dumbass."
-"Ah, Asheara..." Vanji asked, "would it not be a good idea to avoid drowning our rescuer?"
-With a sigh, Asheara came the door and looked down into the water.  "She can't die this easily..."
-"Nope," Xanthippe said, and punched Asheara into the river.  Just at that moment, Kasim remembered that she could teleport.  Damn, that was handy.
-Spluttering down in the muddy water, Asheara screamed, "You little bitch!  See if I ever offer you a job again!"
-"Hey, at least I took my gauntlets off!"  With a scream, Xanthippe launched herself off the dock and landed on Asheara.  They started wrestling in the muck.
-"Uh oh, catfight," Kasim muttered.
-"Who's your money on?" Vanji asked.
-"Mine's still in full armor."
-"Not much help when you're up to your ass in mud."
-A crowd began to gather.  "Think we should charge people?"
-"Hey, that'd work.  On second thought, they'd both have to be in bikinis."
-"Yeah." Kasim shook his head. "Plate mail mud wrestling just doesn't cut it."
-"Hey!" Xanthippe shouted from the water, "this isn't funny!"
-"Yes it is!" Asheara said, and threw muddy water at Xanthippe's open mouth.
-"Not fair," Xanthippe spluttered! "I only hit you once!"
-"When my back was turned!"  Asheara jumped Xanthippe, and twisted her arm behind her back.  "Now say 'uncle', and I'll let you go."
-"Aunt!"
-Twisting further, Asheara grunted, "Say 'uncle'!"
-"Second cousin, twice removed!"  Struggling, Xanthippe finally got her feet braced, and pushed back, lifting Asheara out of the water and throwing her on her backside.  Spinning, she got her arm loose and threw muddy water in Asheara's face.
-"Hey, you're stronger than you look, girly." Asheara grinned, and faked left before punching right.  Not so long ago, it would have hit, but Xanthippe had seen that move before.  Kashya used it.  She dodged the punch, and gave Asheara a black eye in return.
-"Okay, okay... I give," Asheara was laughing.  "Damn, I love a good fight.  Clears all the crap out of your head."
-"Yeah, I guess it does... Ms. Lightly-Clad."  Xanthippe started to climb out onto the dock.
-"That's a lousy insult, you know."  Asheara climbed out beside Xanthippe.  "Show me one real disadvantage to wearing this.  I don't give a damn about societal disapproval or any of that: just one *real* disadvantage."
-For a few seconds, Xanthippe stared at Asheara, her mouth twisting with suppressed laughter.  "Ok.  Don't say you didn't ask for it."  She grabbed Asheara's top in one hand, her bottoms in the other, and with a mighty heave, tore the sodden leathers loose.  Bubbling with laughter, Xanthippe ran down the docks through the crowd, waving the torn bikini like two victory flags.  Asheara screamed and quickly jumped back in the water.
-After a moment's stunned silence, a roar of applause rose from the crowd.  Xanthippe turned and bowed deeply to the assemblage.  "Thank you, thank you.  Ah rally do appreciate it.  Rally I do."
-"Vanji!" Asheara hissed.  "Get me something to wear!  Now!"
-With a completely straight face, Vanji went back into Asheara's house.  Quickly returning, he bent down on one knee, and solemnly offered Asheara a hat.

Difference between revisions of "Xanthippe (Chapter 20)"

Latest revision as of 09:17, 12 February 2017

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